Help college

I heard on the news that there are less college students today then there were even two weeks ago (I guess because a lot of students just graduated). If there continues to be less college students every two weeks, in enough time, there won't be anyone in college at all anymore. And then who are professors going to force to buy the books they wrote? High school teachers? Unlikely. But what about postal workers, and librarians, and other non-high school teachers like you and me? The answer is probably all of us .
We need to do something to encourage more people to go to college. I have one idea.

We could make a video and circulate it around the Internet. The video would show a college graduate walking through the procession. Then it cuts to later that night. The graduate is sitting in a dimly lit apartment eating soup out of his graduation cap. He looks at the camera and says "I will never eat soup again!" Then the rest of the video is of him later on in life walking around town throwing piles of money in the air everywhere he goes. And we're all thinking, Man, where's he getting all this money? Then at the end in big letters is the word College in solid gold lettering. Problem solved.

We would need a catchy title to draw attention. I was thinking, "Man jumps over volcano to save dog."

Please let me know if you are interested in helping. I'll need someone to shoot the video and someone to donate all the piles of money that will be thrown around. Let me know. Thanks.