Monday, January 5, 2009

2009 Goals

I thought it would be a clever idea to make 2,009 goals for the year 2009. However, I started to lose steam before I even reached 1,000. So, here are my goals for this upcoming year.

1. Invent the computer.
2. Talk to an astronaut, and not just on a prank call.
3. Defeat the rainbow, once and for all.
4. Learn French but never use it.
5. Tie a new kind of knot each day of the year.
6. Learn how to untie at least some of the knots.
7. Go on a strict "No Food or Drink" diet for over 1,000 hours. (this equates to around 3 hours a day, which I plan on doing from 2 - 5 a.m.
8. Go river rafting on the Sudan.
9. Memorize an entire book (Where's Waldo, Volume IV.)
10. Somehow save lots of money by eating left handed.
11. Don't blow all of the money I made by inventing the computer.
12. Stop wasting money on buying soda, gas, and reptile cages.
13. No T.V. on Labor Day.
14. Lose 35 or 3 pounds, whichever comes first.
15. Give away two phony scholarships.
16. Make a volcano go off.
17. Videotape a monkey performing surgery.
18. Buy a healthcare.
19. Never quit on any of my goals unless they get pretty hard (or boring, or I lose the list).
20. Sip lemonade at the tennis club with all the bigshots without crying because it's so sour.
21. Write a book (in the sand with a stick on a beach somewhere warm).
22. Sue anyone who says they invented the computer.

May all your goals magically come true this year.


barrito said...

My goal for this year was to vote for Mr. Barrack but he's already in, so now I am going to watch the Super Bowl on a flat screen T.V.

I want to lose 15 pounds of old shoes from my closet.

And for the final, buy a healthcare for everyone (or a salon).

barrito said...

Remember all: tomorrow this new year is the first new year of all the rest of your life.

Keep your dreams in your pocket of your heart.

Henry said...

...because it's so sour. Ha, you wish!

April said...

I'll take one of those phoney scholarships!

ronandlindahatfield said...

I invited the computer so bring it on. I have the owner of Hatfield Law on my side. You'll never win!

Chad Hatfield said...

I have no problem with anyone inviting the computer to go anywhere with them, just as long as they agree that I invented it.

barrito said...

She does not mean invite the machine. I know exactly what she mean. She mean that you email everyone on the computer internet- happydash63@yahoo, happydash86@hotmail, ilikeparties@msn, and all email names you can think of in your head to go to a party with you.

Then you go to party and you are all alone and it is the worst party ever because you told your brother's kids that you would bring all kinds of your friends.

This is what she means.

The best to all you.

ronandlindahatfield said...

oops. How stupid am I!!

Anonymous said...

I would like to report Goal #3 as political slander against barrack and his homosexual supporters.

Chad Hatfield said...

Sorry, but I am bound by law not to even alude to any political commentary. On this blog, a rainbow simpl ymeans a rainbow. And it will fall. Mark my words.